wag kang pakalat kalat sa daan baka damputin ka ng pulis.
wala na kong tiwala sa gabi lalo na pag naririnig ko na ang mga tunog ng sirena ng bumbero. maingay mga taong nagtatalo. putangina wag kang maingay!
di ko marinig ang kausap ko. wag kang humarang sa daan kung mabagal ka maglakad! hindi lang para sayo ang daanan at ang espasyo tinatapakan ng mga paa mo kada tama nito sa semento
ito ay permanenteng sayo lamang hangang matapakan ulit ng paa mo ang susunod na parte ng pinaglalakaran. kaya putang ina mo tumabi ka ambagal mo!
parang laro.parang hide n seek.parang aso't pusa.parang malagkit.na mabaho.pero masarap hawakan malambot.. mainit..
kasayaw ang init na galing sa mapaglarong apoy. nakakatukso, nakakabingi. sayaw geoff, sayaw!
make yourself yousful yourawanker.
GUSTO KO GUMAWA NG BAGONG KAHIT "ANO" sa net. na kelangan gamitan ng ganitong shit:
rock.hiphop.neverythinginbetween.@gmail.com
yan ang gusto kong ilagay sa bagong email kasi parang ako yan. gets mo? pero tangina kung gagawin ko yun ambaduy.pero sino ba sila para pigilan ako sa gusto ko?
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
pakagat
exposition
bells ringing
Maingay na sumisigaw ang alarm clock, hudyat na ito ng simula ng araw ni Kervin. Ngunit hindi ito kagaya ng kahit anong simula ng umaga. Una, dahil ang buwan at kadiliman ang makikita mo pag ikaw ay sumilip sa labas ng bintana at hindi ang pag gising ng araw...
Galing sa eskwela ay pagod na uuwi ng bahay si Kervin sapagka't sya'y nagaaral sa kalayuan ng syudad ng Pasig. Mula eskwela ay tatayo sya sandali sa katabing tambayan ng mga patapon ang buhay sa harap. Magaantay bago makasakay pauwi ng tricycle sa tapat ng katanghalian. Kelangan kasing mapuno ang upuan dahil ang kanyang pamasahe ay hindi kayang magspesyal ride.Pagabot sa terminal ng trike ay sasakay sya ng jeep byaheng palengke at pagbaba naman ng jeep ay maglalakad sa kalagitnaan ng digmaan ng init ng sikat ng araw at aspalto, hangang sa susunod na sakayan ng jeep derecho sa balangay.
Uuwi ng bahay si Kervin na pawis at pagod ang laman ng tyan. Maliligo at magpapalit ng itim na maong shorts katerno ng maluwag na puting t-shirt at tsinelas. Lalabas ng bahay na bakas sa muka ang kunot ng noo sa taas ng sikat ng araw wari bang nagsasabi ng kanyang katayuan. Tunog ng kalansing ng barya sa kanyang bulsa ang maririnig habang naglalakad tungo sa kanto, bibili ng ulam. Sakto lang ang pagkakatansya nya sa presyo kaya kasya pa ang 2 stick ng yosi sa sukli. Bago makabalik ulit sa bahay ay madadaanan nya muna ang nakatenggang mga drayber ng jeep at tricycle; ang iba pa ay madadatnan mong kumakain ng tanghalian sa lilim ng mga malalagong puno at grasa ng makina.
Maghahandang kumain kaya't iinitin na nya ang biniling ulam sa kalan. Habang inaantay ay sisimulan na nitong himayin ng pino ang damong mabango at babalutin sa katamtamang laki, gamit ang matamis na papel. Matagal ng sumisindi si Kervin kaya naman ay gamay na nya ang magbalot, pati ang papel pantay ang pagkakalapat; kalkulado ang kilos ng kanyang mga daliri kaya smooth lang. Mahalaga ang oras para sa kanya, kaya naman lahat ng kanyang kilos ay laging planado kahit sa maliliit na bagay kelangan detalyado. Kasama nya ang tv at ang pitchel ng tubig sa tanghalian. Ang channel ay palipat lipat, nililibang ang kanyang mapungay na mata sa walang katapusang pahina ng telebisyon.Sa mga ganitong oras ng araw ay dito na nya nadadama ang tinatawag na feeling of contentment sa buhay nya.
Mabagal na nangangarap ng gising. Masugid na umaasam, na sana'y ganito kadalas at kadali makamit ang ginhawa sa buhay. Tahimik, kasabay ng init ang madalang ngunit malakas na pagdaan ng hangin sa kanyang muka at mga biyas. Uupo si Kervin sa bubongan ng bahay. Sa parteng may konting lilim ng puno ng acacia, sakto lang sa kanyang kinauupuan at kita ang mga nagdadaan sa kalsada. Maingat nyang aabutin ang lighter sa tabi ng bintana at sisindihan ang mabangong damo na nakabalot sa matamis na papel. Mahinahon at hiyang. Walang iniisip na kahit anong klase ng paghihirap. Tagapagmasid lang sa mas pinabagal na pagikot ng mundo.
4:2o na pala
bells ringing
Maingay na sumisigaw ang alarm clock, hudyat na ito ng simula ng araw ni Kervin. Ngunit hindi ito kagaya ng kahit anong simula ng umaga. Una, dahil ang buwan at kadiliman ang makikita mo pag ikaw ay sumilip sa labas ng bintana at hindi ang pag gising ng araw...
Galing sa eskwela ay pagod na uuwi ng bahay si Kervin sapagka't sya'y nagaaral sa kalayuan ng syudad ng Pasig. Mula eskwela ay tatayo sya sandali sa katabing tambayan ng mga patapon ang buhay sa harap. Magaantay bago makasakay pauwi ng tricycle sa tapat ng katanghalian. Kelangan kasing mapuno ang upuan dahil ang kanyang pamasahe ay hindi kayang magspesyal ride.Pagabot sa terminal ng trike ay sasakay sya ng jeep byaheng palengke at pagbaba naman ng jeep ay maglalakad sa kalagitnaan ng digmaan ng init ng sikat ng araw at aspalto, hangang sa susunod na sakayan ng jeep derecho sa balangay.
Uuwi ng bahay si Kervin na pawis at pagod ang laman ng tyan. Maliligo at magpapalit ng itim na maong shorts katerno ng maluwag na puting t-shirt at tsinelas. Lalabas ng bahay na bakas sa muka ang kunot ng noo sa taas ng sikat ng araw wari bang nagsasabi ng kanyang katayuan. Tunog ng kalansing ng barya sa kanyang bulsa ang maririnig habang naglalakad tungo sa kanto, bibili ng ulam. Sakto lang ang pagkakatansya nya sa presyo kaya kasya pa ang 2 stick ng yosi sa sukli. Bago makabalik ulit sa bahay ay madadaanan nya muna ang nakatenggang mga drayber ng jeep at tricycle; ang iba pa ay madadatnan mong kumakain ng tanghalian sa lilim ng mga malalagong puno at grasa ng makina.
Maghahandang kumain kaya't iinitin na nya ang biniling ulam sa kalan. Habang inaantay ay sisimulan na nitong himayin ng pino ang damong mabango at babalutin sa katamtamang laki, gamit ang matamis na papel. Matagal ng sumisindi si Kervin kaya naman ay gamay na nya ang magbalot, pati ang papel pantay ang pagkakalapat; kalkulado ang kilos ng kanyang mga daliri kaya smooth lang. Mahalaga ang oras para sa kanya, kaya naman lahat ng kanyang kilos ay laging planado kahit sa maliliit na bagay kelangan detalyado. Kasama nya ang tv at ang pitchel ng tubig sa tanghalian. Ang channel ay palipat lipat, nililibang ang kanyang mapungay na mata sa walang katapusang pahina ng telebisyon.Sa mga ganitong oras ng araw ay dito na nya nadadama ang tinatawag na feeling of contentment sa buhay nya.
Mabagal na nangangarap ng gising. Masugid na umaasam, na sana'y ganito kadalas at kadali makamit ang ginhawa sa buhay. Tahimik, kasabay ng init ang madalang ngunit malakas na pagdaan ng hangin sa kanyang muka at mga biyas. Uupo si Kervin sa bubongan ng bahay. Sa parteng may konting lilim ng puno ng acacia, sakto lang sa kanyang kinauupuan at kita ang mga nagdadaan sa kalsada. Maingat nyang aabutin ang lighter sa tabi ng bintana at sisindihan ang mabangong damo na nakabalot sa matamis na papel. Mahinahon at hiyang. Walang iniisip na kahit anong klase ng paghihirap. Tagapagmasid lang sa mas pinabagal na pagikot ng mundo.
4:2o na pala
Sunday, July 6, 2008
one thing led to another
SHE LICK ME LIKE A LOLLIPOP, SHE LILILILICK...
shawty wanna thug
bottles in the club
shawty wanna hump
you know i like to touch ya' lovely lady lumps...
DOES SHAWTY REALLY WANT A THUG!?
DO YOU WANNA BE HUMPED?
DO YOU WANT TO HEAR HIM SAY THAT?!?
REALLY?
i don't know why people have to do stupid poses depending where the picture is taken.
i mean if you're in a club and you're a guy going out with girls. you'd probably make yourself look like a fucking don Juan douche bag. instantly you're this chick magnet you pretend to be in the photo. pouting lips and forcefully trying to make them tantalizing eyes.
and if you're a lady the sluttiest thing you could ever do is go there and wear almost nothing, showing almost everything you don't want to be touched in the first place. Posing like its open bar at yer crotch 24/7, but ye its a "party" you should look slutty and make stupid decisions right?
my point is..
why do we pretend to be someone or rather why do even pretend to feel like we have to be what we saw on TV. we all know that's not what its all about, but fuck it we don't stop the pace. why do some people even enjoy being exploited.
We've pretended too much that we forgot whats real and whats not. we've been forcefully fed by the media, the music industry, the film industry, politics and fore movers of the world. not to pass blame on anyone or any group of that matter;it still comes down on how we choose to live our lives. conformity and comprise has been placed before values and morale. clearly the world is showing a different side to its two face mask; like seeing the back of the moon constantly evolving.
we the people. families. loving wives and loyal husbands. hardworking fathers. unsuspecting children are victims of the world if we choose not to separate ourselves from the world.
*recently i saw on the news about that girl being gang raped and held hostage for three days by her schoolmates.. inside the gaddamn school*
hearing that made my heart cry. Things like these happen in the world long before our fathers fathers were born. before the great kings of the earth. it is there since the beginning of time, but what saddens me is the ability of men to accept and live with it and not stop it but rather promote it. cruelty and evil is normal to man. that is our flaws. that is our imperfection, the constant lust for sin.. for knowledge. But. Where are the good people that should stand up against this growing disaster???
MY LAST THOUGHT:
walang mangaapi kung walang magpapa-api --Ted Failon, Hoy! gising
GUMISING KA NAAAAAAAAAAA
shawty wanna thug
bottles in the club
shawty wanna hump
you know i like to touch ya' lovely lady lumps...
DOES SHAWTY REALLY WANT A THUG!?
DO YOU WANNA BE HUMPED?
DO YOU WANT TO HEAR HIM SAY THAT?!?
REALLY?
i don't know why people have to do stupid poses depending where the picture is taken.
i mean if you're in a club and you're a guy going out with girls. you'd probably make yourself look like a fucking don Juan douche bag. instantly you're this chick magnet you pretend to be in the photo. pouting lips and forcefully trying to make them tantalizing eyes.
and if you're a lady the sluttiest thing you could ever do is go there and wear almost nothing, showing almost everything you don't want to be touched in the first place. Posing like its open bar at yer crotch 24/7, but ye its a "party" you should look slutty and make stupid decisions right?
my point is..
why do we pretend to be someone or rather why do even pretend to feel like we have to be what we saw on TV. we all know that's not what its all about, but fuck it we don't stop the pace. why do some people even enjoy being exploited.
We've pretended too much that we forgot whats real and whats not. we've been forcefully fed by the media, the music industry, the film industry, politics and fore movers of the world. not to pass blame on anyone or any group of that matter;it still comes down on how we choose to live our lives. conformity and comprise has been placed before values and morale. clearly the world is showing a different side to its two face mask; like seeing the back of the moon constantly evolving.
we the people. families. loving wives and loyal husbands. hardworking fathers. unsuspecting children are victims of the world if we choose not to separate ourselves from the world.
*recently i saw on the news about that girl being gang raped and held hostage for three days by her schoolmates.. inside the gaddamn school*
hearing that made my heart cry. Things like these happen in the world long before our fathers fathers were born. before the great kings of the earth. it is there since the beginning of time, but what saddens me is the ability of men to accept and live with it and not stop it but rather promote it. cruelty and evil is normal to man. that is our flaws. that is our imperfection, the constant lust for sin.. for knowledge. But. Where are the good people that should stand up against this growing disaster???
MY LAST THOUGHT:
walang mangaapi kung walang magpapa-api --Ted Failon, Hoy! gising
GUMISING KA NAAAAAAAAAAA
Sunday, May 4, 2008
3 2 1
posted: Thursday, march 13, 2008
LIFT OFF!
i always pictured this night when im gonna have to leave you at the airport, i just did'nt know it was tonight.. --summary of march 9; libs
NOW BOARDING FLIGHT...
simula ng umalis si patet sa pilipinas ay mas naging tutok na tutok na ko sa selfon ko ng walang palya. Kada minuto kada segundo, umaasang sana tumunog ang ringtone ko at sana boses mo ang nasa kabilang linya ng telepono. Pero sa di ko alam na dahilan biglang kung kelan pa tatawag si patet chaka pa olats ang ringtone ng telepono ko.
sorry mahal ko, wag mo sanang isipin na hindi ka mahalaga. Nagkakataon lang talaga.
mahirap pero kelangan gumalaw. di naman pwedeng palagi ka lang steady.
Im keeping myself busy and pressing on productivity. I now know the schedule for testing and other information about my AnE test. Thats one goal almost down. and! i finally went out of the house after 3 days of solitude, solemness and tiring days trying to get a grip back to reality. seriously. i needed that. It made me realize things much more clearer, i was clogged up before finally i got to swim out of confusion. and no, im not taking prozac for my panic attacks.
coming from a death blow, gasping for air is probably your best bet for staying conscious so im trying not to lose my breath. babalik na ko sa eskwela para matuwa ang mga taong nakapaligid sakin (pamilya, patet, kaibigan at lalong lalo na ang diyos) pagppray ko pa kay Jesus lahat ang hirap kasi pag walang tropang kasama. at the same time maghahanap ng trabaho para solid walang kawala may back up plan pag may trobol.
MALAKI ANG POSIBILIDAD NA ito na yung time na ginagawa na ng Diyos ang kanyang miracle sakin; sana maabutan ko. Mas healthy ng isipin na hinayaan nya tong 3 buwan mangyari para sa goodness, ngayon alam ko na. wag lang sana madiskarga ang baterya ng sinasakyan kong jip.
***
alam ko ang saya at lungkot na nararamdaman mo...
hindi ka nagiisa mahal ko..
LAST THOUGHT
alam kong di mapipigilan na magsaya ka jan at makalimot paminsanminsan pero aasahan kung pagkatapos ng araw tabi na tayo. mahirap makitang masaya ka dyan lalo na dahil hindi ako yung nagpapasaya sayo, nakakaingit kasi madalas ako yung tao na yun. mahirap na di na kita mapapangiti jan. nakakaselos at nakakatampo. pero wala akong magagawa kaya tiwala, pasensya at dasal na lang. SANA ikaw din ganun sakin dahil ayokong magaway pa tayo minsan na nga lang tayo magkontakan aking pinakamamahal.
kung alam mong magrereak ako wag mo na lng idiin sa muka ko pag kinwento mo. haha.
*like pictures and shit. please be sensitive enough chabi girl*
ngayon malinaw na ang utak ko at alam ko ng ang aking nararamdaman. ito na yung napagusapan natin dati.. small time arrangements lang babe, para smooth lang tayo sa pagmamaneho..
i-pramis mo na...
- i send mo na sakin schedule mo para alam ko ang time ng baby ko
- tawagan mo naman ako.
- text lang ng text kung hindi makatawag
- maging conscious sa sarili at surroundings. ingats parin, alam mu na mundo ngayon.
- behave lang at focus sa dapat lang gawin. wala ng segway repa.
- ako lang palagi
sabi ni libs...
last but not the least...- i will do something productive with my life while your away (aral, trabaho at kahit ano pa..)
- ill text you always (sulitxt agad pag may kinse)
- and will call you whenever there is a chance (tyatyagain..)
- walang segway pangako.
- ikaw lang palagi
WALANG MAGBABAGO, ITAGA MO SA BATO
~para sa aking pinakamamahal
some say it crawled out of the depths of the earth
posted: Tuesday, march 11, 2008
I was streaming the net last night and i found some pretty interesting pictures for my painting-in-the-making. Iam not an erap fan as my friend cams wouldve said nor a nationalistic prick from some university, but i found the photographer really talented.. the pictures are so classy as well as the model.. you got to admit he's really entertaining to watch. well I'll let you see them for yourself.
yep he's our former president and you better recognize
I've been planning/brainstorming to make a zine about different artworks from different artists (street, surreal, impressionist, realist, whatever..) just a mini block of productivity building up inside my notorious mind since my star has left.. talk about quickly saving my ass from lovelorn times..
i so miss you my love
this is what i get for wanting more, for wanting more raaahhhlsdklajdlskdf
no Im not emoting ass off again! its just that..
Underoath shot me out, off my bed. That crazy ringer really got me all jazzed up thinking it was my wife calling me from a hard day at that God-forsaken, wife taking place called-Florida but instead t'was my old friend "cenzo" also known as "cent" hahaha.. he was asking if i was at home, then suddenly the line got cut off. fuck I was out of battery..
that was sadly an almost, unproductive activity for me today.. another thing to make my life worth going through. shucks!
I'd like to take note of this idea:
ang bansa naten ay parang helicopter, hahayaan mo bang sya ang magpatakbo nito?
see that guy far behind.. i bet your ass this was what he was he's thinking..
tangina di ako sasakay jan!
i was stuck inside my room on purpose; sketching, drawing, scribbling on paper then! i got a hold of my charcoal. Ive seen people draw with charcoal on different surfaces for texture and I couldnt wait to try it for myself, so I did. I went out and circled around my block looking for wall that I could work on without getting hassled by the "fuzz" or attention dragging guard dogs our neighbors have, sadly no wall was up to the test. so what better place to do my work but my room, back to where i started. Ive been wanting to fill that empty side of my room with posters and such but i thought why not fill it with my works of perfection called art and why not now!
so i did..
sorry there's no evidence of perfection cause my lovely wife kinda "lost" my usb cable.. gaah. i love you baby ko. hahaha.
SUPRISINGLY, I REALIZED THIS JUST NOW:
di mo talaga malalaman kung gano mo ka kelangan ang isang bagay hanggat mawala ito sayo..
parang kuryente pag nag brownout..
parang tubig pag kupal ang nawasa..
parang ikaw pag nakatingin ako sa langit..
sana kaya kong lumipad at sana di ako afraid of heights
I was streaming the net last night and i found some pretty interesting pictures for my painting-in-the-making. Iam not an erap fan as my friend cams wouldve said nor a nationalistic prick from some university, but i found the photographer really talented.. the pictures are so classy as well as the model.. you got to admit he's really entertaining to watch. well I'll let you see them for yourself.
yep he's our former president and you better recognize
I've been planning/brainstorming to make a zine about different artworks from different artists (street, surreal, impressionist, realist, whatever..) just a mini block of productivity building up inside my notorious mind since my star has left.. talk about quickly saving my ass from lovelorn times..
i so miss you my love
this is what i get for wanting more, for wanting more raaahhhlsdklajdlskdf
no Im not emoting ass off again! its just that..
Underoath shot me out, off my bed. That crazy ringer really got me all jazzed up thinking it was my wife calling me from a hard day at that God-forsaken, wife taking place called-Florida but instead t'was my old friend "cenzo" also known as "cent" hahaha.. he was asking if i was at home, then suddenly the line got cut off. fuck I was out of battery..
that was sadly an almost, unproductive activity for me today.. another thing to make my life worth going through. shucks!
I'd like to take note of this idea:
ang bansa naten ay parang helicopter, hahayaan mo bang sya ang magpatakbo nito?
see that guy far behind.. i bet your ass this was what he was he's thinking..
tangina di ako sasakay jan!
i was stuck inside my room on purpose; sketching, drawing, scribbling on paper then! i got a hold of my charcoal. Ive seen people draw with charcoal on different surfaces for texture and I couldnt wait to try it for myself, so I did. I went out and circled around my block looking for wall that I could work on without getting hassled by the "fuzz" or attention dragging guard dogs our neighbors have, sadly no wall was up to the test. so what better place to do my work but my room, back to where i started. Ive been wanting to fill that empty side of my room with posters and such but i thought why not fill it with my works of perfection called art and why not now!
so i did..
sorry there's no evidence of perfection cause my lovely wife kinda "lost" my usb cable.. gaah. i love you baby ko. hahaha.
SUPRISINGLY, I REALIZED THIS JUST NOW:
di mo talaga malalaman kung gano mo ka kelangan ang isang bagay hanggat mawala ito sayo..
parang kuryente pag nag brownout..
parang tubig pag kupal ang nawasa..
parang ikaw pag nakatingin ako sa langit..
sana kaya kong lumipad at sana di ako afraid of heights
first rule: never talk about flight club
posted: Monday, march 10, 2008
its been two days after you left for Florida and I'm now experiencing at first hand how its like to be without you. Ive been idle at the same time reckless. Ive been brainstorming about ideas that would let me forget about you without letting you go.Frankly I have not been myself lately although Ive been doing my usual daily routine (wake up, eat, pc, etc..) minus the waiting for that nostalgic sound of the tricycle when your about arrive.. everything feels like it does'nt mean anything as cliche as it sounds, but damn it.. it is true. Iam a walking stiff, it seems that you leaving, sucked the life out of me and Im desperately trying to get back on my feet again.
"That was naughty blow.. right on the money!"
remember the fire in the bed room?
THINGS THAT IVE BEEN BRAINSTORMING ABOUT:
- start painting again.. i almost forgot that im an artist
- get a fucking job!
- take the fucking test!
- get into a photography, graphics design, art workshop or at least learn back something i forgot i could do in the first place
- webcam!
- SKATEBOARD!
- how to get to florida without really buying a ticket
well it just been two days and i dont think 3 months is gonna be a friendly one. Ive been praying and still praying to God that He'll guide me through this.. Im weak, yes i know. I have been dependent to people for happiness, courage, warmth and love and now that it has come to this...
*which i was expecting right after we met*
it has been really HARD
I miss you
words never really say the things you want to say when your amplified. It sickens me that Im bounded by this feeble developed English words. Its constricting, and i fucking hate it..
i hate it that i cant make you feel what i really feel right now and the sad part is i cant do jack! and wont be able to do jack for 3 months about it..
*wall punch x3*
im really missing you right now, i wish could write my tears so this wont hurt too much
Ive tried talking to your pictures that Ive taken but they wont answer, i should've talked to my sketches.
hopefully soon ill be getting my money coz i sold my goddamn track shoes that goes for almost 5k for a soft P2500.gaah! webcaman na my loves! :)
atleast ill get to see her and talk to her on the net,but nothing beats the real thing...
right mateys?
ay ay captain!
AN ALMOST SHORT TERM GOAL: start being optimistic this week
~I'll be looking forward to that
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